Hyper masculine gay men2/3/2024 Jake tried to reach out to me via social media. Not long after, I quit in order to have more time to focus on my dissertation. He couldn’t possibly be racist because he was attracted to black men. I later tried to make Jake aware of his racism, but he said that had nothing to do with him. I shouldn’t have been surprised, but the frankness of his words stunned me into silence for the remainder of my shift. “Black men are for fucking white men are for bringing home to your family.” Jake’s tales frequently centered on his conservative rural upbringing, his “love” of black men, in part because of how “masculine” he thought they were, and how he didn’t like guys who were too “femme.” “How would your family react if you were dating someone who wasn’t white?” I asked, trying to make small talk during a lull between customers. These conversations quickly went from amusing to problematic. One of my co-workers - let’s call him Jake - was a white gay man who liked to tell stories about his various dating exploits each time we had a shift together. W hen I was in graduate school, I worked part-time in retail. Flickr/Duncan Hull There has been little discussion of the ways white gay male culture, in particular, is rife with its own brand of toxic masculinity.
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